By Dr. Natasha Turner ND
When a patient comes to see me, I ask two basic questions: How’s your energy? and How’s your sex drive? When a patient tells me either of these aspects of his or her life has changed, I know immediately there’s a bigger health problem at play. Sadly, I’ve found a surprising number of people who have ignored these changes for years and simply accepted them as normal or felt too embarrassed to deal with them.
If this scenario sounds familiar to you, I hope to inspire you to think differently and to take steps to get your “mojo” back. You may even be one of the millions of adults who experience sexual dysfunction, the incidence of which appears to be at an all-time high. According to an extensive study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, the obesity epidemic is certainly not our only concern at this point. The results revealed that about 43 per cent of women and 30 per cent of men experience symptoms of sexual dysfunction, including lack of desire, arousal issues, decreased lubrication, inability to orgasm, painful intercourse or lack of enjoyment.
As more women wait until their 30s and 40s to have children, they are more willing to engage in a variety of sexual activities to capitalize on their remaining childbearing years, according to new research by psychologists at The University of Texas at Austin. Such “reproduction expediting” includes one-night stands and adventurous bedroom behavior, the research shows.
In a paper published in the July edition of Personality and Individual Differences, psychology graduate students Judith Easton, Jaime Confer and Cari Goetz, and David Buss, professor of psychology, found that women age 27-45 have a heightened sex drive in response to their dwindling fertility.
In the study the researchers split 827 women into three groups: high fertility (ages18-26), low fertility (ages 27-45), and menopausal (ages 46 and up). The respondents answered an online questionnaire about their sexual attitudes and behavior.
Compared with the other groups, women with low fertility were more likely to experience:
- Frequent sexual fantasies
- Thoughts about sexual activities
- More intense sexual fantasies than their younger counterparts
- A more active sex life and willingness to have a one-night stand
- A willingness to have casual sex
You can read more here
Bringing Sexy Back:
If you think sex has fallen away simply because you’re getting older, are not in a relationship or haven’t done it in a long time, think again. Pleasurable sex is something every adult should enjoy for a lifetime—with or without a partner. And remember, sex doesn’t mean intercourse alone. Masturbation (on your own or with a partner) and other forms of sexual play that get your hormones revving are definitely recommended.
Perhaps you are like so many women and men with a lowered sex drive (I know this is a common complaint or admission seen in my clinical practice). If so, the idea of “jumping” into an active sex life might be hard to imagine at this point. This can change, however, if you want it to. You can fuel sexual desire further with visualizations or small acts of intimacy. For instance, try thinking of positive words on waking—even if you don’t feel positive—like love, joy, peace, strength, happiness, beauty, etc. Next, tailor this simple exercise to help your lowered sex drive by adding words you find sexy—like hot, sensual, sultry or touchable. You can also slowly bring intimacy back into your life with activities to help you feel close and connected again, such as back rubs, foot rubs or date nights.
Natural Help for Sexual Concerns
If your sex life is stuck in neutral, you don’t have to live with it and you don’t necessarily need to turn to pharmaceuticals either. Here are a few simple tips you can try to get your love life back in gear:
|Low Libido||Several supplements can be used to enhance the hormones involved in a healthy sex drive for men and women. Two herbs in particular, maca and ashwagandha, have shown promise for increasing libido in both sexes.
You can also consider a supplement from your health food store that includes one or more of these libido-boosting components:
· Deer Antler
· Tribulus terrestris
· Ginkgo biloba
· Horney Goat Weed
· Check out Herbal Medicine Libido Support.
|My previous supplement recommendations for increasing low testosterone or decreasing stress and high cortisol will also help get your love life back on track. If your concern is associated with menopause, look at the suggestions for low progesterone and low estrogen, as well.
|For both men and women: Investigate other ways to stimulate your sexual interests, including sex toys, books, DVDs, a sex class (tantric sex, etc.) and so forth. I recommend the book Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel (HarperCollins, 2006).|
|Vaginal Dryness||Local use of an estriol cream or vaginal suppository can be very helpful. We offer this option at Clear Medicine, (Bioidentical Hormone Replacement)
|Personal lubrication||Look for a personal lubrication that is free of harmful or irritating chemicals, such as glycerin, parabens, phthalates, petroleum, propylene glycol, synthetic fragrances and colours. Instead, select an all natural, water-based lubricant such as Hathor lube (available online here: http://www.comeasyouare.com/product/Hathor-Aphrodisia-Lubricant-4-oz/), which has libido boosting properties including Horny Goat Weed, Jujube Zizyphus and Siberian Ginseng.|